Recently on “hold off, Is This a night out together?” we’re joined by Autostraddle President and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with friends’ exes, buddies starting up with the help of our exes, and the tradition produced by all that drama.
Appear your gossip, remain your psychological running. And before that enjoy a game title that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking will never.)
Thanks a lot for the nice feedback after our very own premiere! When you yourself haven’t however consider providing us with a rating or review!
SHOW NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese put together an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of all of the my personal interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference where I mention setting up with my roommates.
+ My personal crush in the few days Mj Rodriguez released a music video for her tune
“one thing to state”
!
+ As someone who has just seen a number of symptoms of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush with the few days C.C. Babcock was surprising in my opinion if it ended up she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they generally nevertheless are.)
Drew:
I would be extremely okay with-it current. I would personally never include somebody else without their own permission. But the notion of anytime some body was actually like, “concur that you will be attached to myself,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, this is the life i have stayed. Really don’t care about.” Is that strange? Is problematic?
Christina:
No, as if I wasn’t, I would personally feel poor not-being. I would end up like, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”
Theme tune plays
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And thank you for visiting
Wait, Is This A Night Out Together?
Christina:
Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. First and foremost, can it be a date? Just what are dates? Who’re dates? Will we like dates? They are form of questions that individuals answer about right here very pro and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m called Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I am also a writer at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer online. I will be recovering at explaining myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is you. That is whom we’re.
Drew:
Yeah. And our major topic recently could be the Chart.
Christina:
I simply believed it needed a sting. I am not sure. That believed really dramatic, but i believe it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thank you, thank you. No, no, no. The appropriate level of drama.
Christina:
Thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re speaing frankly about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that expression because it sounds like you should restart the lesbians. It may sound just like the web connection isn’t working.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very advanced, really futuristic, but in addition has been around since there has been lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I do believe students would say as soon as they found the very first lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside of these created into the mud. And I also genuinely believe that’s exactly what that film is about, right? It’s about the chart? That flick with Kate Winslet and also the sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
was about cave women. I’d view that lesbian film.
Christina:
Well, as I haven’t observed it, i will bravely claim that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we have numerous lesbian duration parts, but we have never gone right back that much. And I also think it’s the perfect time we would.
Christina:
Why don’t we simply hold taking it further back in its history.
Drew:
Before we get to your major topic, you are still getting to know you. And I also believed it would be enjoyable to tackle a game where you men could truly familiarize yourself with Christina. Thus the icebreaker for this week is a tiny bit video game that I call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I’m, once more, thus pressured about any of it. This could you need to be how i-come in to the video game. This might be my personal online game mindset, some high key, some stressed. That’s okay. We are all learning.
Drew:
I believe that is fantastic. I do believe which will make you more susceptible, maybe.
Christina:
Certainly one of the best thoughts.
Drew:
Only a terror, just a severe horror. Therefore the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i’ll describe a situation. Why don’t we call-it Christina fan fiction. And that I’m going to pause after every little part to get like, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never stayed with a partner, don’t want to accept someone. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I will sometimes say yes or I’ll state, “I’m all set.”
Drew:
If you don’t â well, we’ll see right here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion i have perhaps damaged the code.
Christina:
You have cracked the signal? I am excited.
Drew:
Why don’t we observe long this takes. Of course, if there is a constant do, I think you victory? I am not sure how discover champions right here.
Christina:
I am not sure that there exists winners from inside the video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I am not sure in the event that you’ll accept that after this. So I’m going to get heading.
Christina:
Reasonable adequate.
Drew:
Okay. Thus, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at the pal’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you have soaked up, you did maybe not visit this marriage thinking you’d satisfy anybody because, really, this isn’t a romcom. Here is the real and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking the designated seat and therefore are glancing at the cellphone when you realize a woman at your table is wanting at you. She presents herself since your friend’s previous babysitter. She actually is remained a buddy regarding the household, but she does not truly know anybody there. She appears to be mid-forties features a striking angular face. You set about talking. She offers to provide a drink. So when she gets up, you understand she’s six feet large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So that you understand what? I am merely browsing hold on there and become similar, at this point, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m captivated. I’m fascinated because I might get put during this wedding. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That’s completely reasonable. Entirely fair. Okay. So you spend entire marriage observing the other person. There’s only an instantaneous spark and quick biochemistry. And yes, you will do hook-up while the intercourse is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And this marriage was in Northern California. And so you both expand the stays for a few times to fuck and explore and eat at restaurants and fuck. While supply to split the expense of the now shared space, but she laughs you down and is like, “Obviously maybe not, honey.” So the next three days tend to be magic. You feel your walls tumbling straight down. You’re dropping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Therefore only for understanding’s sake, I’m having a hard time picturing a world which I took three surprise times off of strive to hang out with someone i actually do perhaps not know. That appears bonkers. However if I did, best for myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this time. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is great. You only came across. I have it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thanks really.
Drew:
So she returns to nyc and also you go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where I reside.
Drew:
And you are texting continuously. That is where your home is and it is in which this lady resides. And you are texting constantly and you see one another several times a month. She’s very active with her task, but she is quick to get you a train admission to help you arrive see their and stay at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which six months go. And another evening if you are out over dinner, she asks you to relocate together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And relocate to New York? I don’t really love ny. No, I am not moving in on 6 months level. I’m not doing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, totally, completely. Wow. Okay. You keep matchmaking long-distance. She understands that you’ll need time and this woman is willing to wait for you. More months move. It’s today already been over a year. Your own property owner tells you that they’re attempting to sell your house to a developer that’s investing in condos, and that means you cannot renew it. You will need to get a hold of a new place. The today girl tells you that no pressure, but the woman provide still stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, i’d U-Haul for a few factors.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Kindly reveal.
Christina:
Mainly, in some sort of in which my personal property manager marketed the house to produce it, my personal property manager is currently my companion, to ensure that appears like anything went incorrect in our friendship. And I must simply leave Philadelphia anyhow. If in case I have to maneuver in using my girl over right here, that seems good. Which is great. Completely okay. But yeah, In my opinion I might require an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
Which is therefore â fine. I did so genuinely believe that you’ll need certainly to need housing to get truth be told there, thus I’m happy We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is just what actually has got to eventually myself 1st.
Drew:
Well, i am pleased to know what it does take. Therefore in theory, if you weren’t kicked away, simply how much more time?
Christina:
Truthfully, might have gone on for a long period. Philly and ny are not actually that definately not each other. I acquired room over right here. We’re moving back and forth. We’re having memories. I really could have allow that roll for quite some time until i assume Shoshana becomes the worst person i understand.
Drew:
I didn’t realize Shoshana possessed your own home. Well, there you are going.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, which was exciting.
Drew:
Well, thank you for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, to be clear.
Drew:
And that I’m grateful that I know⦠possibly in case you are previously, therefore if anybody’s ever dating you and wishes that move around in, perhaps the gf told Shoshana to offer the home for the sake of your union.
Christina:
Honestly the fastest means â some body would simply have to talk to Shoshana and become like, “simply kick their around.” Right after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. Definitely.” That will be the way it happened, regardless of if she don’t offer your house. Some body would you need to be like, “are you able to just stop this lady out very she’s going to just conquer it and relocate with me?” And she’d state yes. One hundred percent she would do that. That is what friendship is.
Drew:
I love that.
Christina:
Yeah, which is truly gorgeous.
Drew:
Well, i’m like we discovered plenty about yourself.
Christina:
Thanks. I believe like We learned loads about my self, as well. Threat of homelessness is really the point that helps to keep me personally moving in any circumstance, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is great.
Christina:
Which was really fascinating. I am equally delighted to move into our primary section because In my opinion discussing lesbian connection using this guest, because of this special visitor, I think it will be remarkable, Drew. How will you be feeling?
Drew:
I am therefore thrilled. It is a specialized. By that, What i’m saying is an
L Term
expert, but additionally a small amount of an expert within the topic at hand.
Christina:
I think two things could be correct, my buddy. I believe a few things is generally genuine indeed. Can we should introduce all of our guest or can we want our very own visitor introducing by themselves?
Drew:
I might love the guest introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I am going to point out that the guest will be the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, talk.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s really weird as the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, it’s.
Riese:
I’d not to state something. I did not even exercise. Used to do state things. I experienced to sit right here calmly.
Christina:
And also you happened to be really fearless. Plus faces happened to be appreciated.
Riese:
Many thanks such.
Christina:
Though this will be certainly a sound average, I want our audience to know that Riese ended up being creating some good effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There is various ways become heard. You-know-what i am talking about? That is what i usually state. I will be the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me. We have your pet dog known as Carol. And I also have actually dated people.
Christina:
Congrats from the kickball!
Riese:
Thanks. I’ve been involved with individuals.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. Which is fantastic to take to the, this right here internet dating podcast. That is great.
Riese:
Yeah. I think that⦠will there be other things?
Drew:
No, In my opinion which is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
What you may like to discuss.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.
Christina:
As opposed toâ¦
Riese:
You Realize an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It is like when you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, so I simply just evacuated all of them from my personal brain.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, we straight away looked at you for this subject.
Christina:
That is correct.
Drew:
Because first and foremost, demonstrably, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian area were like, I don’t know, having sexual intercourse with individuals exactly who their friends had sex with since a long time before
The L Term
was actually a series. But I do feel just like
The L Term
solidified a specific cultural notion of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you’d have countless insight into this subject.
Riese:
It’s true. A couple of writers, I would like to say, of
The L Term
had this real data ones and their pals they were attracting regarding the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, ended up being one among them. She spoke to all of us regarding it, that they had built this. Because certainly, every person where publisher’s place had banged people in the creator â you realize, in addition to lengthy internet of this generation of lesbians in l . a .. And in addition they saw that and they were like, “Let’s place it during the show.” Plus some of these take the information. Like, some people who ⦠like, genuine men and women are about chart as a joke.
Christina:
Which is incredible. That is the way you learn you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t really that sweet?
Christina:
That might be thrilling for me personally.
Riese:
So when you yourself haven’t seen
The L Word,
first, congrats. Secondly, it becomes the centerpiece of 1 of our own head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has everything over her wall structure. And in addition it could be the title of a web site which they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. And also the idea ⦠and it is within the pilot, i believe. Within the 1st episode, Alice starts talking about exactly how everybody’s connected, because everyone’s hooked up with this specific person. And that I can connect you, as you’re probably a maximum of two degrees from the me. Which had been true. Like, even with Dana, that has very limited experience because she ended up being a closeted golf member, they nonetheless had the ability to hook up this lady. And that is actual life since it is true.
Christina:
That’s culture. Yeah. That is what culture appears to be.
Riese:
That is tradition. Which is queer tradition there. And from now on everyone helps make their very own charts.
Christina:
Yeah. In order for was going to be my next question, was have either of you made a chart? Because I do not think You will find, and I am variety of today thinking like, what was this this past year resting within my residence for if I failed to make a chart? Like, the thing that was the point of that, actually?
Riese:
I believe I’ve accomplished it inside my log, equally like ⦠Because I really like, I’m not sure, planning info, i assume, as a thought workout.
Christina:
Yeah, i believe that’s additionally precisely why i will be surprised that i’ven’t accomplished it. I prefer the concept of categorizing things.
Riese:
Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I don’t know precisely why it really is very fascinating, but it is. Its interesting to get similar, wow, most of these individuals, they can be connected. Its crazy.
Drew:
Regarding show, when ourchart.com is devised, they’ve got an authentic information that people can add material. And I feel something you joked about on
To L and Straight Back,
and today folks state all the time is a lot like, when this existed in an actual way, nobody would place their unique brands about it, not one person would feel comfortable getting their brands upon it.
Riese:
Might.
Drew:
I would personally. I’d be extremely okay with it present. I’d never add somebody else without their authorization. Although thought of like, each time some body was like, “Confirm that you will be connected with me,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, it is the existence i have stayed. I do not mind.” Usually odd? Usually difficulty?
Christina:
No, because if I wasn’t, i might feel poor not ⦠I would resemble, “hold off, I am not about it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that will really send me into a light moral panic about which I am as individuals, what I’m performing. Am I interesting? Carry out folks {like
